Hey there!

I hope you had a splendid weekend. We kicked off our long weekend with a hike to three different waterfalls on Friday. I actually brought my DSLR on this hike, which is something I never do, took about 50 photos, and then found out only one took.

Ha! Guess we’ll just have to go back 😉 That’d be Shane standing in front of Ouzel Falls at Wild Basin (a highly recommended hike if you’re ever in Rocky Mountain National Park, by the way!)

It still amazes me that it’s just a 25 minute drive to get to RMNP. Still. There was also furniture (shopping!!!) – which I’d love to show you my office when I get it done. I got my desk, bookshelf, chair, and side table ordered on Saturday, so all I need is some art work, a desk chair, and a couple plants, and it’ll be inspiration city! Right now I’m camped up with a card table and chair – which doesn’t exactly inspire to say the least.

There was also a 4th of July barbeque with friends, a trail run, and a kick-booty booty workout in the mix.

It was such a great weekend – lots of fun Friday and Saturday and client plans and updates on Sunday. I have to admit, it was a little heavy on the craft beer, sugary treats and cocktails, and carbs, but that’s ok.

A few years ago, I would have found myself sitting on the couch, the Sunday night after an indulgent long weekend, poking at my thighs, and feeling guilty and shameful about the weekend. I’d feel disgust, self-loathing, and, yep – you guessed it – shame.

But you know what? Shame is not going to help you (or me.)

While this weekend was indulgent, at best, it’s absolutely no big drama. Even if you’re in fat loss mode, shame is not going to help you get there any sooner, no matter the reason. When my clients email me, confessing that the office treats, barbecues, or dinners out have just made them feel sick about themselves, this is what I tell them.

[Tweet “Shame is Not Going to Help You – via @TrainerPaige #fitfluential”]

Shame is not going to help you! In fact, guilt and shame will likely set you in the wrong mindset and hinder progress in the long run than it will help it. Whether your goal is to lose fat or just feel better and healthier, letting shame and guilt eat at you can lead to feelings of low self-worth. Low self worth can make you feel like all of your effort is for none, and you know what eventually happens when you think that your hard work and effort is a waste of energy… you give up.

If you’re a self-shamer, I feel for you; I do. It’s not a fun head space to be in – at all. But, have hope. You can change. By implementing a few necessary practices when you start to feel that shame, you can teach yourself not to feel this way. And I don’t know about you, but shame is a sucky feeling, and if it’s not going to help me anyway, I’m more than willing to kick it to the curb.

3 Steps to Avoid Shame (And Not Let it Hinder Your Progress)

1. Forgive Yourself. 

Oh, so you gave into to the box full of cakes and pies at a friend’s house? Had one or two too many?

Or maybe you brought the pint to the couch instead of scooping out a portion of ice cream into the bowl.

Welcome to the club. We’ve all been there. Say “oops,” recognize (but don’t harp on) that feeling that doesn’t feel good, and then realize you’re still the exact same awesome person you were before that indulgence. Forgive yourself.

2. Recall the Healthy/Good for You Things You’ve Done For Yourself Recently.

Did you go for a run earlier? Maybe hit up the gym? Eat your 1-2 servings of veggies with lunch? Focus on that. Focus on how you’ve stayed on your plan that day or week.

3. Plan Out Your Next (On Plan) Steps.

So you skipped a few too many workouts or ate out for every meal that week. What matters is what you do from here. Grab a pen and paper, and jot down your next week plan, and maybe your next couple healthy actions:

-get in my normal Monday workout tomorrow

-eat a big green smoothie afterward

etc.

However, let me caution here that you need to be in the right mindset when you move to step #3. That means that you’ve got #1 and #2 covered, and you’re over your guilt. I don’t recommend going all ‘detox derranged’ and making huge changes. If your ‘next step’ is to workout out double every day and only eat salad, then go back to #1; your choices are probably stemming from guilt. Just do what you’d normally do on your (healthy) plan.

It’s so damn easy to have that gut-reaction of shame following an act that you didn’t plan. But that’s completely ok. The important part is recognizing that shame, figuring out why it’s there, and then moving in the right direction…forward. Because shame won’t help one bit.

[Tweet “3 Steps to Avoid Shame + What to Do Instead! via @TrainerPaige”]

When’s a time when you deal with feelings of shame?