Some thoughts and discussions from me.
Own Your Positive Body Image & Own Your Workouts. Own it.
A peculiar thing happened to me this weekend…
I was at the gym on Saturday morning around 8:00, getting in my own body weight workout before training a 9:00 client. And as I was doing some band-assisted glute-ham raises, another guy, who I’m pretty familiar with, comes up to be and goes:
Do you do a lot of band exercises?
Me: yes, they’re pretty helpful.
Him: That’s good. ‘Cause you’re a big girl, you know? You shouldn’t be doing any exercises with super heavy weight. You just want to tone and tighten.
@#%$@#%@U#%(
Me: *biting my tongue* Ah…
I walked away thinking, did that seriously just happen?! Yes, that seriously did just happen.
Now, I could forgive his first comment, for a few reasons: a) I’ve spoken with this guy several times, and he doesn’t really have a filter. at all. b) I have reason to believe by “big,” he meant tall and athletic. And most importantly, C) Because I have a damn good body image, and I own it.
Clearly, his comment was rude, and I wouldn’t call a woman weak if she did question her own body image after being told that. However, just to make sure, I did a little check-over with myself: did I feel damn good about my body before he made his comment? YUP. Do I still feel positive about it now? Yes.
Thusly, his comment helped me verify that I own my positive body image. We can say we never have negative self-image talk, or a great body image, but you know when it really gets put to the test: when we hear the stories of someone else’s thoughts about it.
I like the way I look no matter what this guy’s story is on how a woman should look. “You’re a big girl.” That’s just his perception – his story – of me. It’s not what I really am.
So yes, I can hear that comment and not be mad. But this post is a 2 part-er, because it’s what he said after that comment that left me fuming a little.
“You shouldn’t be doing any exercises with super heavy weight. You just want to tone and tighten.”
(ohh, Jesse Pinkman, how I miss you so.)
Yes, while I am focusing more on bodyweight exercises right now, I’m still getting stronger each week. And little did he know, just a month ago, I was working on deadlifting 1.5 x’s my bodyweight with good form. And guess what? My body composition didn’t look any thicker or bigger than it does now.
Secondly, how do men know what women want out of a workout. Perhaps I do want to add size or mass. Perhaps I’m not interested in tightening and toning.
Stay with me – I have a point here, and it’s not just to rant.
It’s to tell you guys to OWN it. Own that kick-butt, goddess body image that we all should have. And just the same, own your workouts. If you love yoga, don’t let anyone tell that it’s not right for your body type. If you’re an avid crossfitter, and you get so much joy out of (safely) doing your WOD’s, don’t let anyone else convince you that you shouldn’t be. If walking is your thing, and right now that’s what you want to be doing? Pay no attention to the noise telling you it’s not doing any good.
Because a) you’re being active, b) you’re way more ahead of the game than a lot of people, and c) you’re doing YOU. Own it.
How do you own your body image?
Has anyone ever challenged your workout style before?
Another awesome post Paige! I can’t put into words how nice it is to read honest, real words and feelings. I feel like I relate to you in so many ways and this notion of confidence, pride, and “owning” it is such a crucial part to being happy and successful. I have a lot of people question my workout style right now esp because I am training for powerlifting (first meet this Saturday ahhh!!) and I go to a “classy” gym where nobody is throwing weight around and I have had men come up to me and tell me that a woman should not be lifting like that and it is “sick” and I “need new hobbies.” Thank you guys for adding 5-10lbs to my lifts with your lovely words! I just take it out on the bar!!
Woot! Good luck at your meet, Mollie 🙂
I would not have handled that as tactfully as you did. 🙂 I am just going to leave it at that.
No one has directly said anything about my work out style, but I am always feel…inadequate (I suppose) due to the fact that recently, I have been focusing my attenion almost solely on yoga which a lot of people see as a ‘soft’ exercise. So whenever someone tries to write it off to easy meditation – I get a a bit defensive. Not.So.Nice.
Lovely post!
And go big or go home right 😉
screw ’em! Yoga’s awesome.
First off, I hate dealing with people that have no filter. WTF?!?! Second, yes!!! Good for you owning your body image. That is the perfect message. I think we have to be happy with where we are and what we’re doing. Sure, there are always things I want to work on, but I think it’s more important that we appreciate us for who we are and have goals to improve. I think you are beautiful Paige!
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xoxo
Are you going to Blend this year?
I have to say, I would have had trouble handling that guy as politely as you did. Some people really just need a filter!
Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…FLTW: Being Grateful.
I loved this post so much! There have been many cases I can think of where I am feeling great about myself, whether at work, with writing, my workout, blog post, etc, but one negative comment can wipe all my positive thoughts away. It is so important to trust your own instincts and like you said, own your body confidence (and self confidence too!)
I admire you very much for handling that guy’s comment the way that you did. I think I would’ve come back with something pretty snarky if someone would’ve said something like that to me! Ha!
But, back to the root of this post, I totally agree with you! And I think you are such a great example of owning it and just doing you. I haven’t met you in person, but you always come off as very confident and content with yourself in your posts, and I value that SO much! Thanks for being such a healthy example.
Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries recently posted…Current Running Playlist (+ other weekend stuff)
Thanks, Ashley, that’s so sweet. And thank YOU for being such a positive, healthy example, too! xoxo
Uhhh, WHAT?!? This is just unreal to me. I have been in the gym so many times and gotten those looks for one thing or the other, but…the nerve of some people! Girl, you rock it. And this post is so right on. Rock whatever works for you. It just doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks you should be doing. You know what you’re doing, he doesn’t. Period.
It is just hard for me to comprehend how ANYone would talk to anyone else in the gym about what they SHOULD be doing… unless you are that person’s trainer, of course. Unreal.
He knows I’m a trainer, too!
wow I would have wanted to punch that guy in the face!
Andrea @ Pencils and Pancakes recently posted…A week’s worth of Paleo meals
Hey Paige, you should have shown him how BIG you are by knocking his teeth out! Seriously guys like that are idiots and good for you to believe in your self. I hope anyone reading this will try to handle it the way you did and not give it any place in their mind.
LOL! Thanks, Andy 🙂
Wow, that guys sounds like an ass. I love your positive spin on it though! You look amazing, btw.
Courtney @ Don’t Blink. Just Run. recently posted…Face The Music Friday #21
Grrr…! I’d like to throw at kettlebell at the guy. JK.. but seriously, I am angry for you. I would be furious.
Your attitude is so positive and refreshing though. Way to turn a negative experience into a positive one and sharing it with us 🙂
Hillary | Nutrition Nut on the Run recently posted…Fueling Our Fitness {Weekly Workouts}
Haha!! Eh, I’m not really angered by it – his ignorance is his problem, not mine! 🙂
I had to reread that a couple of time to make sure I was reading what I thought I was reading. I’m so proud of you for being so polite and kind to him. You have a lot of self control girl! I love that you own it! you should– you are gorgeous inside and out!
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Thanks, Brittany – and back atcha 😉
oh my gosh, that guy has some nerve! You look amazing and like I’m sure like most readers, I look up to your fitness level and confidence.
Thanks, Betsy xoxo
AMEN! And what a d-bag!! So unbelievable!! Huge kudos to you for handling this with such class and inspiring the rest of us with such a positive message!
Kim @ healthy nest recently posted…Valentine’s day is now a weekend
what a crack head.
of COURSE you don’t need me to tell you this, but I will anyway. I think you’re hella hot.
Lindsay @ Lindsay’s List recently posted…creating fitness-loving children
LOL! And you’re quite the looker yerself! 😉
GREAT post!!! I often get comments about my ‘thunder thighs’but those puppies help me squat some mean weights and keep me pushing harder then I ever thought I could! I could use it to hold me back, but it helps drive me to be a stronger person!
I definitely do get challenges, so based on this and my own experience, I’m gathering that it’s a common thing to happen. I’m told not to lift but run all the time. But I don’t like running…
Julie recently posted…MIMM: Valentine’s Day weekend/BLEND
My jaw literally dropped while reading this. Some people… But you certainly handled it with grace, and that is so admirable!
I do think that there is a lot of judgement of which type of workouts are the best for people, but just exercising AT ALL is an achievement in and of itself. Right now, I’m trying not to do anything high-intensity, but I’m still dancing, doing bodyweight strengthening, and yoga. I’ve also never done sports in my life, but I don’t think that makes me any less athletic!
Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves recently posted…Almond French Toast + Weekend at Binghamton {MIMM #24}
I would probably have just nodded my head as well.. while thinking “I am going to punch your lights out…”
This has happened to me many times since joining my gym with a LOT of stereotypical “meatheads”… I am 6foot and although I am no longer a bigger girl I definitely was before and often am questioned about my lifting NOW because I am “bigger”… I usually take that like you did “bigger” = taller but it always hurts.
Allison recently posted…A Marvelous Life & MNB Week 2
What the f#*@!!!! Some people have no clue. I would throw a dumbbell at anyone who said that to me. Last night during training a new (very skinny, do you even lift type haha) guy walked over and started giving me advice. The rest of the (tiny) gym was packed with regulars, and the whole place went silent to watch how I would respond. I later took advice from another guy, but he can deadlift 700lbs so I trust him a little more than the guy dumbbell pressing 25lbs haha.
I think I love lifting heavy because it gives me enough confidence to tell people like that to (politely) piss off! The original guy who gave me advice did so when I was warming up with just the bar – the look on his face was priceless when I started stacking the weight. You should deadlift directly in front of that guy next time you see him!
Tara @ Sweat like a Pig recently posted…Good news!
Thank you for this post. As always, you are so inspiring!
Love this post in terms of the love of your body image!! Me, I would have given that guy a piece of my mind!!! Cocky di*k… 🙂 Sorry – I had to!
Jody – Fit at 56 recently posted…Gratitude Monday & Thanks
LOL!!
Wow, what a jerk! I wouldn’t have been so quiet if he said that to me. But good for you for putting a positive twist on the situation. I love that – rock the body you have and be proud!
Sarah @ Blonde Bostonian recently posted…NB Fresh Foam 980 Giveaway Winner
where do we even begin–> love you!! love this post
crazy how some people just “think” they know everything and know everything that is best for others. Only we know what is best for us 😉
Purelytwins recently posted…a few words
Exactly! It’s one of my pet peeves – whether that person may be right or not!
What an incredibly ignorant and insensitive thing to say! I’m so glad that you didn’t take his rude comment to heart and let it affect how you feel about YOU!
I love the message that we shouldn’t let other people question our routines. I’ve definitely gotten more active and intense with my workouts in the last few months, but walking was my thing for ages and I still enjoy it more than just about anything else.
Natalie @ Free Range Human recently posted…In Less Than A Week
Walking is my sanity! I have to do it daily 🙂
You handled that with so much class. Good for you for owning YOU.
Jenn@Mark My Miles! recently posted…Training Talk Tuesday: Motivation
What a jerkface. Body image is such a sensitive topic to any woman — whether she’s super comfortable with herself or not — and that was definitely the wrong thing to say. Especially with someone who’s holding a potentially dangerous weapon 😉 I love this post because even though I don’t lift, I think it’s important to know what you like to do and do it for the reason that makes you happy. <3 <3
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Oh my gosh youre so graceful I would have opened up my foul mouth on that dude. I try to stay positive about my body but there are certain times, like if a person came up to me like that, where it would be hard. The only time anyone has criticized my workout is by telling me I do “too much cardio” but Its always when Im training for a half marathon or something so I think that “too much cardio” is subjective.
Ashley @ Brocblog recently posted…Valentine’s Day Treats
I would have walter whited that fool p! what a close minded idiot. you are beautiful (as a beaver) and smart and funny and amazing 🙂 (and important – HELP style) not to mention the sexiest bia i’ve EVER seen in a pair of spandeeezz’ 🙂 (spandex for those who don’t comprehend DKP) don’t sweat it hoe- you hot and your best asset- your confidence, you handled it well, i on the other hand would have slit his tires, and smacked his face, just like some sad sack country song i’m sure is out there
Amen, girl!! LOVE this post.
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Woo! Look at you girl! You’re awesome. 😀
Evidently that guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Probably admiring your strength and confidence.
Natalie @ lovenataliemarie recently posted…PB & J Melted Banana Oatmeal
Wow, really? Some people really do need to think before they speak! Although my husband has called a woman big before but meant tall. I had to explain to him that’s not good! Ha. But the way you view it is amazing and so freakin perfect! Why? But this body is a gift from god! We own it but he gave it to us to love as his own! Xxoo
i love this post! but seriously, i’m continually shocked at what some people feel the need to say aloud. like, seriously? i have to really give you credit for your mental maturity and not just punching him in the face. you’re twist on it is perfect, and i’ve always believed that athletic achievements (personally it’s running and pr’s there) totally trump any kind of aesthetic thing. don’t get me started on the skinny-fat thing. own it, girl you are strong in mind just as much body and freaking gorgeous! 🙂
There’s so much that I love about this post Paige, except for the no-filter guy. It always amazes me what comes out of the mouths of men at the gym. I love your positive body image but even more, I love the sentiment of owning your workouts and owning you.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…Click. Snap.
It AMAZES me that some people feel the need to give you their opinion, as if you even asked! What a Toolbag! Or maybe, maybe he was feeling weak becuase you can possibly deadlift more than he can!!
I always say never judge someone as you do not know where they came from or where they are going.
And, can I add, I would LOVE to have a ‘big’ booty/legs like you have, you ROCK!
I love this so much and for so many reasons, not the least of which is Jesse Pinkman! I’m here from Live,Love,Surf & so glad I read this!! It’s SO true that you need to own your workouts and your body! As a runner people ALWAYS have to comment on how bad it may be for my knees. Seriously? I also just wrote a post on defending my “skinny” body since I was so sick of the comments. Great read!! Thank you for writing this!
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Wow… It really is amazing what people think is alright to say to one another, particularly to someone that you don’t really “know”. However, I think it is amazing that you are able to own who you are, what you look like, and what your body is capable of! For so many women there has been so much hurt, so much damage, so much self doubt that owning who they are and what brings them joy gets put on the back burner.
Also, I think we emailed back and forth for a bit right before you moved out to Colorado :). i hope that you and your husband are loving it out here and settling in well!
Kristen recently posted…Thursday Thoughts
OMG. You rock! I usually workout at home so I don’t have to up with unsolicited comments, although I’m pretty sure my dog thinks I’m crazy no matter what workout I’m doing!
Coco (@Got2Run4Me) recently posted…Hotels In Switzerland
OMG I cannot believe he said that to you.
1. Is he BLIND?!
2. What a dick.
Seriously. Who does that? In what world would saying like that be OKAY, and to a TRAINER too? Because he clearly knows so much more than you, right? After all, it’s only your career…
Sigh. People will never cease to amaze me.
But you, on the other hand, ROCK! I love your attitude and it’s very inspirational. This needs to be read by every woman out there. You’ve gotta OWN your body image!
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Thank you so much, Kammie!
AWESOME post, Paige! I love this message (despite that man’s audacity.. some people have zero filter!) and I want women to OWN it too. It’s so much more acceptable to say “oh, I feel ok about my body but sure wish I could change XYZ” than it is to say, heck yeah, I feel in shape and awesome!
Love this- thanks for sharing 🙂
Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) recently posted…The Visual Weekly Meal Plan
such a good role model! you look amazing, btw:)
Thank you, Clare! xo
great post and good for you for taking his comment with a grain of salt..
is he on glue? you have an amazing body!
Tatum | EATS from the oil patch blog recently posted…The FUN Part About Recovery
Well said Paige. And high five for not letting him ruin your day.
I know this is an old post, but I just love it. I have had experiences similar to this before. Whether at times it’s been a comment about being thin and that I should gain weight, or being thick and should just want to ‘tone up’. It can be really hard to get your head around this when you don’t have good body image, as I didn’t in the past. Explaining that it’s the other person’s perception is really helpful for women to deal with these situations! Not only that, it’s not even anyone else’s business! I don’t get how some people just have no social cues on what is ok to say and what’s not. Sometimes I wonder if it is just that they don’t have a filter (like you mentioned with this guy), and sometimes I think women’s looks are so over emphasized in the media and society, that it’s almost like other people think that they own the right to other people’s bodies. Great post anyway.
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